If you’ve watched Memoirs of a Geisha , you’d know that Japan is made of paper! Not all of it. People are still made of blood, gore and all that, but every other wall, door or screen you see in the movie are paper! It seemed like a really cool idea, where in one shot, the director cleverly shows a silhouette of what’s cooking behind closed doors. But I’ll tell you where it all became a terrible idea for sure – I could HEAR them! Oh, the horror! On the way back home, I got thinking. Why did the noisy Japanese people in the movie freak me 
out? It’s nothing to do with them being Japanese! Some of my favourite people are Japanese (Honda Aibo, Hello Kitty, etc.). So does it have anything to do with the movie being noisy? No, that’s not true... I prayed. So what, then? As I walked to my woman (I say this in the most non-sexist way imaginable!), I decided to be more observant in my intimate moments. So here we are in the throes of passion... Back to the whole ‘noise’ thing, I concluded after extensive research over a period of months that we are a noisy couple, and though the less coherent one of the lot, I do contribute my fair share. And most importantly – I like her being vocal! So, why the earlier discomfort? To study this phenomenon, I decided to embark upon a study using the scientific method of injecting the topic into conversations with guys everywhere (The data yielded was best when the pints downed were in double-digits). Here’s the no-surprise result – all of them (as in us, fellow-manly men) agree that nothing compares to ‘YES’ many times over, though there were some who admitted to shhhhing their loved ones in life’s finer moments. Further research was conducted to determine the latter brigade of men. And the reason was simple really. Neighbours! Not just when you’re the noise, but also when you’re the neighbour, there’s trouble both ways. If you’re the noise, and the neighbours can hear you – you risk offending them for a number of reasons (they may not be getting any, they may envy your stamina, they might want to hear and not just watch the TV, you might be upsetting their pets or children etc.), and if you are the neighbour, you might be offended for the same reasons! So, here are the final results: We love it when you love it, so tell us, as loud as you want. Sometimes when we shhh you, just tell us you want the neighbours to know that we are studs! There are some among us who truly may not like getting it loud and the silver bullet for that is headphone! Not for you, for him. Tell him, it turns you on, and he won’t ever take ‘em off
out? It’s nothing to do with them being Japanese! Some of my favourite people are Japanese (Honda Aibo, Hello Kitty, etc.). So does it have anything to do with the movie being noisy? No, that’s not true... I prayed. So what, then? As I walked to my woman (I say this in the most non-sexist way imaginable!), I decided to be more observant in my intimate moments. So here we are in the throes of passion... Back to the whole ‘noise’ thing, I concluded after extensive research over a period of months that we are a noisy couple, and though the less coherent one of the lot, I do contribute my fair share. And most importantly – I like her being vocal! So, why the earlier discomfort? To study this phenomenon, I decided to embark upon a study using the scientific method of injecting the topic into conversations with guys everywhere (The data yielded was best when the pints downed were in double-digits). Here’s the no-surprise result – all of them (as in us, fellow-manly men) agree that nothing compares to ‘YES’ many times over, though there were some who admitted to shhhhing their loved ones in life’s finer moments. Further research was conducted to determine the latter brigade of men. And the reason was simple really. Neighbours! Not just when you’re the noise, but also when you’re the neighbour, there’s trouble both ways. If you’re the noise, and the neighbours can hear you – you risk offending them for a number of reasons (they may not be getting any, they may envy your stamina, they might want to hear and not just watch the TV, you might be upsetting their pets or children etc.), and if you are the neighbour, you might be offended for the same reasons! So, here are the final results: We love it when you love it, so tell us, as loud as you want. Sometimes when we shhh you, just tell us you want the neighbours to know that we are studs! There are some among us who truly may not like getting it loud and the silver bullet for that is headphone! Not for you, for him. Tell him, it turns you on, and he won’t ever take ‘em off
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